How to overcome sexual incompatibility

Ideal sexual compatibility (directly to the first time - and for life) can be found in two places: in women's novels and in his own fantasies. He and she saw each other, sat down like a wolf with the lamb, and realized that for each other.

Unfortunately, the novelistic stamp "for each other" to the reality almost irrelevant. Because sexual compatibility more often - the result of joint work. On what? Just over those areas of sexuality, which discovered the incompatibility. The most frequent area of disagreement - is biorhythms, the difference in temperaments and sexual preferred. About how to deal with sexual inadequacies, we asked the doctors and sexologists.
Biorhythms, biorhythm, and I'm a little taco

"Tomas has worked from seven to four, and she - from four to midnight. Could not she have breakfast with him, they could communicate with each other only on Sundays. So she got up at once with him and only after his departure, again lying down, falling asleep "(Kundera." The Unbearable Lightness of Being ").

All biorhythms are divided into two types. Some (the minority) are defined genetically and are not subject to correction. Another group of biorhythms associated with adaptation of the organism to the environment - and, hence, can easily be changed in response to changes in external conditions.

Couple, complaining to the mismatch of biorhythms, usually refers to one of two things: either a fundamentally different peaks of sexual activity, or mismatch owl and Lark schedule, greatly reduces the time for communication and intimacy. In other words, each in a pair of different ideas about when one should have sex.

Sergei Agarkov, doctor-sexologist, MD: "There is no global mismatch biorhythms. Always, even at very different biorhythmology people have periods of time convenient to both. Or, for example, can be done so that today you have sex when it is like one, but tomorrow when another. Therefore, differences in biorhythms partners sex life can not destroy. But it can not hurt to discuss the problems encountered. However, in no case do not start talking in bed. The bed - not the place to clarify the relationship. "

Eugene Kulgavch, doctor-sexologist, therapist: "In this situation, do not blame everything on the alleged biology - and should go toward each other. At the weekend - to use the day. And no other cases could not be more important! You have to remember about priorities. Family above all else, of any cases. A sexual life - an important component of a harmonious family. If you do not match schedules, consider that someone changed it. Otherwise, sooner or later there may be "helpers" or "assistant" to the sexual parts of both works. Plus from such a marriage gradually undercut and undermined emotionality. People turn to domestic partners, and the growing alienation.
Temperament did not come out

Common, but not too discussed the situation: the different temperaments. Of course, the glossy magazines have taught us to believe that a decent modern man must want sex anytime and anywhere. And yet: one wants to once every two weeks, while others simply need to take place at least 5 times more often.

Sergei Agarkov: "Differences in temperament, of course, can be had affected the sexual life. But again, when partners do not seek to find a compromise. The best recipe to overcome this imbalance - to forget about myself and try to meet the beloved. And usually easier to do this to someone who in the family plays the role of follower. A correct - that the motion is toward the man who more temperamental. And, of course, need to talk. "

Eugene Kulgavch: "In such a situation, you can extend the range of acceptable caresses - to include oral sex, manual stimulation. It is important not to wait for the deterioration of relations and the accumulation of grievances, and to discuss discrepancies temperaments with each other. But often the problem arises as to convey to each other. And to make the second half took it with gratitude. You can choose mediation through a doctor-sexologist.
Sexual liberation: a girl and hulig

For many urgent problem: how not to appear in the eyes of the second half of the rake, offering sex toys, or new forms of sex? It can reach up to suspicions and questions: "Where did you learn this?". Calms the only thing that matters sexual liberation - exclusively cultural properties. In them there is no drop of biology, not an ounce of physiology. Therefore, we will solve them, pardon the expression, cultural.

Sergey Agarkov: "The majority of men are more liberated about sex than women. Hearing from his partner offer to try something new: a toy or other kind of sex, the main thing - do not talk at once "no". Agree. In the end, he did not drag you to this very minute to make an offer. You in turn, will show willingness to support his wishes. Once you "hypothetically" have agreed to try to ask leading questions: why he wanted this and that it expects. In the end, in the course of the conversation you are not only better understand the motives of the beloved, but they themselves decide to - you'll be able to do it or not. After all, on a reasoned refusal anyone has the right ".

Eugene Kulgavch: "This is a very delicate matter, requiring a delicate discussion. It is best to try to attract third source: "I read (a) that's about this - what do you think about this?". Small doses of alcohol will not prevent such a conversation. And the time to be relevant. If a partner has condemned the "read", will have to seek other options. "
In the dry residues

According to observations of sexologists, couples are able to co-operatives, are harmonious in sex. To test for co-operation existing devices, the protagonist of which is the arrow. Connected to the device, two handles - for each partner. The above-mentioned needle from a vertical position is constantly striving to deviate in some way. But both testing, twisting the handle, it can return the arrow in place. However, if someone is very "bend the stick", the cursor begins to deviate in the opposite direction. The way the couple quickly learns to resist the arrow in the desired position, said about their ability to co-operatives.

If people do well with this test, even in matters of sexual preference, they too will be able to agree.