Ideal sexual compatibility (directly to the first time - and for life) can be found in two places: in women's novels and in his own fantasies. He and she saw each other, sat down like a wolf with the lamb, and realized that for each other.
Unfortunately, the novelistic stamp "for each other" to the reality almost irrelevant. Because sexual compatibility more often - the result of joint work. On what? Just over those areas of sexuality, which discovered the incompatibility. The most frequent area of disagreement - is biorhythms, the difference in temperaments and sexual preferred. About how to deal with sexual inadequacies, we asked the doctors and sexologists.
Biorhythms, biorhythm, and I'm a little taco
"Tomas has worked from seven to four, and she - from four to midnight. Could not she have breakfast with him, they could communicate with each other only on Sundays. So she got up at once with him and only after his departure, again lying down, falling asleep "(Kundera." The Unbearable Lightness of Being ").
All biorhythms are divided into two types. Some (the minority) are defined genetically and are not subject to correction. Another group of biorhythms associated with adaptation of the organism to the environment - and, hence, can easily be changed in response to changes in external conditions.
Couple, complaining to the mismatch of biorhythms, usually refers to one of two things: either a fundamentally different peaks of sexual activity, or mismatch owl and Lark schedule, greatly reduces the time for communication and intimacy. In other words, each in a pair of different ideas about when one should have sex.
Sergei Agarkov, doctor-sexologist, MD: "There is no global mismatch biorhythms. Always, even at very different biorhythmology people have periods of time convenient to both. Or, for example, can be done so that today you have sex when it is like one, but tomorrow when another. Therefore, differences in biorhythms partners sex life can not destroy. But it can not hurt to discuss the problems encountered. However, in no case do not start talking in bed. The bed - not the place to clarify the relationship. "
Eugene Kulgavch, doctor-sexologist, therapist: "In this situation, do not blame everything on the alleged biology - and should go toward each other. At the weekend - to use the day. And no other cases could not be more important! You have to remember about priorities. Family above all else, of any cases. A sexual life - an important component of a harmonious family. If you do not match schedules, consider that someone changed it. Otherwise, sooner or later there may be "helpers" or "assistant" to the sexual parts of both works. Plus from such a marriage gradually undercut and undermined emotionality. People turn to domestic partners, and the growing alienation.
Temperament did not come out
Common, but not too discussed the situation: the different temperaments. Of course, the glossy magazines have taught us to believe that a decent modern man must want sex anytime and anywhere. And yet: one wants to once every two weeks, while others simply need to take place at least 5 times more often.
Sergei Agarkov: "Differences in temperament, of course, can be had affected the sexual life. But again, when partners do not seek to find a compromise. The best recipe to overcome this imbalance - to forget about myself and try to meet the beloved. And usually easier to do this to someone who in the family plays the role of follower. A correct - that the motion is toward the man who more temperamental. And, of course, need to talk. "
Eugene Kulgavch: "In such a situation, you can extend the range of acceptable caresses - to include oral sex, manual stimulation. It is important not to wait for the deterioration of relations and the accumulation of grievances, and to discuss discrepancies temperaments with each other. But often the problem arises as to convey to each other. And to make the second half took it with gratitude. You can choose mediation through a doctor-sexologist.
Sexual liberation: a girl and hulig
For many urgent problem: how not to appear in the eyes of the second half of the rake, offering sex toys, or new forms of sex? It can reach up to suspicions and questions: "Where did you learn this?". Calms the only thing that matters sexual liberation - exclusively cultural properties. In them there is no drop of biology, not an ounce of physiology. Therefore, we will solve them, pardon the expression, cultural.
Sergey Agarkov: "The majority of men are more liberated about sex than women. Hearing from his partner offer to try something new: a toy or other kind of sex, the main thing - do not talk at once "no". Agree. In the end, he did not drag you to this very minute to make an offer. You in turn, will show willingness to support his wishes. Once you "hypothetically" have agreed to try to ask leading questions: why he wanted this and that it expects. In the end, in the course of the conversation you are not only better understand the motives of the beloved, but they themselves decide to - you'll be able to do it or not. After all, on a reasoned refusal anyone has the right ".
Eugene Kulgavch: "This is a very delicate matter, requiring a delicate discussion. It is best to try to attract third source: "I read (a) that's about this - what do you think about this?". Small doses of alcohol will not prevent such a conversation. And the time to be relevant. If a partner has condemned the "read", will have to seek other options. "
In the dry residues
According to observations of sexologists, couples are able to co-operatives, are harmonious in sex. To test for co-operation existing devices, the protagonist of which is the arrow. Connected to the device, two handles - for each partner. The above-mentioned needle from a vertical position is constantly striving to deviate in some way. But both testing, twisting the handle, it can return the arrow in place. However, if someone is very "bend the stick", the cursor begins to deviate in the opposite direction. The way the couple quickly learns to resist the arrow in the desired position, said about their ability to co-operatives.
If people do well with this test, even in matters of sexual preference, they too will be able to agree.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
8 ways not to think about sex
If you believe homegrown psychologists, men think about sex every five minutes. Women "indecent" thoughts go to two times less. Someone will be quite satisfied with such an obsession, and somebody interferes live. The latter by hook or by crook trying to outwit nature and sometimes even succeed in this.
Who needs it?
In the first place come to mind not so long ago attracted the attention of media movement adherents antiseksualov The very eccentric friends who passionately argue that sex is bad, wasteful of energy and health. However, their case is not limited.
Thoughts about sex prevent war, go hiking, young novice, departing in a monastery, loving couples, who (as is) separated for some time.
Well, brother of Pushkin?
Once AS Pushkin was sent into exile in an estate Boldin. He could not see with Natalia Goncharova a few autumn months.
The result was one of the best series of his works, and the period called Boldin Autumn.
Athletes, writers and scientists are trying to forget about sex in order to achieve a fairly pragmatic goals - to win the competition, write a book or to prove the theorem of Poincare. This is a classic case of sublimation - the displacement of sexual desires and translate energy into a creative direction. In Freud's theory by its very existence of human culture must sublimation.
And finally, many faithful lay-volunteer driven thoughts about sex for a considerable period, in Orthodoxy, for example, this is the time of Lent.
How to escape from thinking about sex
Method 1. Go on a diet
It is believed that a strict diet reduces the development of sex hormones. The lower the calories in food, the less libido. Noticeably fewer thoughts about sex is with a decrease in caloric intake by 40% from normal.
Particular attention should be paid to the fact that the food was so-called aphrodisiacs: spices (pepper, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, basil, etc.), nuts, mushrooms, eggs, seafood, meat, fish, olives, honey, chocolate. And most importantly, totally abstain from alcohol!
Method 2. Loaded muscles
Remember the hero Adriano Celentano in the movie "The Taming of the Shrew - a hardened bachelor and misogynist, who every time when I saw the beauty, went frantically chopping wood? Heavy physical work may well support the struggle of the spirit with flesh.
If the right moment to hand ax was not, you can draw the muscles in the gym or simply poprisedat or pootzhimatsya from the floor. Hundred times.
Method 3. Take up the mortification
"The holy ascetic piety of all forces and kept a very strict bodily purity, not stopping at the most heroic measures ...". Mortification has historically been one of the most effective ways to fight the temptations of the flesh.
Voluntary self-flagellation and the wearing of armbands with spikes albino monk from the movie "The Da Vinci Code" - not an artistic exaggeration. For example, the monk Benedict of Nursia (founder of the Western Benedictine monastic order) were quite prickly thorns whenever it covered passionate excitement.
However, less radical elders advised all the same to start with cold washing or lying on the cold bare floor, until after the outbreak of passion.
Method 4. Taking drugs
There has bikes that half a century ago, soldiers in the food spiked with bromine, to thoughts of a sexual nature in the head not climbed. Reduce libido can and other drugs: neuroleptics, antidepressants, tranquilizers, beta-blockers, diuretics, some cardiovascular, hormonal and sedatives.
However, the primary effect of these drugs to have sex is irrelevant. Accept them without a doctor's prescription is not safe!
Method 5. Take up the extreme experiences
Concomitant hormone epinephrine can cause anything, but not an erection. You can do contact martial arts (Thai boxing, karate, etc.) or extreme sports (kayaking, paragliding, mountain climbing, scuba diving, etc.), you can go fight in a hot spot, and you can shave my head and join the gang skinheads or club football fans. By the way, knowledgeable people say that a good fight better than good sex.
Is no accident before Lent (which relies abstention) in Rus necessarily passed fisticuffs "wall to wall.
Method 6. Praying
This advice from the Internet pages of the Orthodox mother.
"If you feel, finally, that forces you to change, and sin is ready to win, there is still a great tool - prayer. Where the lack of human power, there is hope for God's help. Lord is able to deliver on the edge of the abyss. Especially in those moments when the covers passionate excitement and bad thoughts climb in the head, it is necessary to resort to prayer. Most convenient in such cases, a brief but insistently repeated the prayer: "Lord, have mercy!".
Method 7. We can break away
Despite the fact that scientists claim that workaholics - a fantastic lovers that can not believe it. At least, spontaneous thoughts about sex from a person working 12-14 hours a day, especially when it comes to mental labor, - that the stuff of unscientific fantasy.
Distracted from sex can not just work. There are books, crossword puzzles and computer games. Last good by the fact that devour a lot of free time. Particular attention is paid to the endless epics like "Lineydzh-2", in which on-line game days and nights, many thousands of people.
Method 8. Make sex work
The method of the field of homeopathy - "like be cured by likes.
Remember the bearded anecdote about a prostitute?
By lying on a beach prostitute glued man: "Girl, do not want to have fun?" - "No". "Why?" - "Imagine that you work hard and turner at the factory. And then you go on vacation to the sea. Come out to the beach, and there - machines ... machines ... machines ... ".
Who needs it?
In the first place come to mind not so long ago attracted the attention of media movement adherents antiseksualov The very eccentric friends who passionately argue that sex is bad, wasteful of energy and health. However, their case is not limited.
Thoughts about sex prevent war, go hiking, young novice, departing in a monastery, loving couples, who (as is) separated for some time.
Well, brother of Pushkin?
Once AS Pushkin was sent into exile in an estate Boldin. He could not see with Natalia Goncharova a few autumn months.
The result was one of the best series of his works, and the period called Boldin Autumn.
Athletes, writers and scientists are trying to forget about sex in order to achieve a fairly pragmatic goals - to win the competition, write a book or to prove the theorem of Poincare. This is a classic case of sublimation - the displacement of sexual desires and translate energy into a creative direction. In Freud's theory by its very existence of human culture must sublimation.
And finally, many faithful lay-volunteer driven thoughts about sex for a considerable period, in Orthodoxy, for example, this is the time of Lent.
How to escape from thinking about sex
Method 1. Go on a diet
It is believed that a strict diet reduces the development of sex hormones. The lower the calories in food, the less libido. Noticeably fewer thoughts about sex is with a decrease in caloric intake by 40% from normal.
Particular attention should be paid to the fact that the food was so-called aphrodisiacs: spices (pepper, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, basil, etc.), nuts, mushrooms, eggs, seafood, meat, fish, olives, honey, chocolate. And most importantly, totally abstain from alcohol!
Method 2. Loaded muscles
Remember the hero Adriano Celentano in the movie "The Taming of the Shrew - a hardened bachelor and misogynist, who every time when I saw the beauty, went frantically chopping wood? Heavy physical work may well support the struggle of the spirit with flesh.
If the right moment to hand ax was not, you can draw the muscles in the gym or simply poprisedat or pootzhimatsya from the floor. Hundred times.
Method 3. Take up the mortification
"The holy ascetic piety of all forces and kept a very strict bodily purity, not stopping at the most heroic measures ...". Mortification has historically been one of the most effective ways to fight the temptations of the flesh.
Voluntary self-flagellation and the wearing of armbands with spikes albino monk from the movie "The Da Vinci Code" - not an artistic exaggeration. For example, the monk Benedict of Nursia (founder of the Western Benedictine monastic order) were quite prickly thorns whenever it covered passionate excitement.
However, less radical elders advised all the same to start with cold washing or lying on the cold bare floor, until after the outbreak of passion.
Method 4. Taking drugs
There has bikes that half a century ago, soldiers in the food spiked with bromine, to thoughts of a sexual nature in the head not climbed. Reduce libido can and other drugs: neuroleptics, antidepressants, tranquilizers, beta-blockers, diuretics, some cardiovascular, hormonal and sedatives.
However, the primary effect of these drugs to have sex is irrelevant. Accept them without a doctor's prescription is not safe!
Method 5. Take up the extreme experiences
Concomitant hormone epinephrine can cause anything, but not an erection. You can do contact martial arts (Thai boxing, karate, etc.) or extreme sports (kayaking, paragliding, mountain climbing, scuba diving, etc.), you can go fight in a hot spot, and you can shave my head and join the gang skinheads or club football fans. By the way, knowledgeable people say that a good fight better than good sex.
Is no accident before Lent (which relies abstention) in Rus necessarily passed fisticuffs "wall to wall.
Method 6. Praying
This advice from the Internet pages of the Orthodox mother.
"If you feel, finally, that forces you to change, and sin is ready to win, there is still a great tool - prayer. Where the lack of human power, there is hope for God's help. Lord is able to deliver on the edge of the abyss. Especially in those moments when the covers passionate excitement and bad thoughts climb in the head, it is necessary to resort to prayer. Most convenient in such cases, a brief but insistently repeated the prayer: "Lord, have mercy!".
Method 7. We can break away
Despite the fact that scientists claim that workaholics - a fantastic lovers that can not believe it. At least, spontaneous thoughts about sex from a person working 12-14 hours a day, especially when it comes to mental labor, - that the stuff of unscientific fantasy.
Distracted from sex can not just work. There are books, crossword puzzles and computer games. Last good by the fact that devour a lot of free time. Particular attention is paid to the endless epics like "Lineydzh-2", in which on-line game days and nights, many thousands of people.
Method 8. Make sex work
The method of the field of homeopathy - "like be cured by likes.
Remember the bearded anecdote about a prostitute?
By lying on a beach prostitute glued man: "Girl, do not want to have fun?" - "No". "Why?" - "Imagine that you work hard and turner at the factory. And then you go on vacation to the sea. Come out to the beach, and there - machines ... machines ... machines ... ".
Love the game for those tired of sex
Do not discovered America, when I say that even the most common personal relationships, sooner or later get tired. Someone inclined to see this logical evolution from the searing passion for the quiet love. Others, those who are without the severity and the heater can not live in a hurry to swap partners. Well, someone is trying to diversify sex with their love
In fact, making love under the view of some "Planet of the gaping mouths" - a lightweight version of svingerstva.
Kamasutra
Treatise Kamasutra, the Indian physician and philosopher Vatyasany was translated into English from Sanskrit Richard Burton. The first edition was published in 1883 in Victorian Britain. Since then, the book was reprinted countless times, and was translated into almost all languages of the world.
First, to what turned comrades who have decided to somehow return the severity of sexual relationships - many books on sex techniques. The minimum text and maximum of images clearly show how and in what positions people can do to each other pleasantly.
To treat this literature seriously, in principle, it is not necessary. Even all the famous Kamasutra, according to recent studies, translated incorrectly, contains a lot of inaccuracies and even completely wrong advice. A lot of it frightened about women's erogenous zones, and in general the female orgasm fucking paid little attention. It's like the ladies to finish not necessarily agree, is not so.
By the way, if you have sex, following this "benefit", you should be aware that flexibility and physical training partner should be like Alina Kabaeva, and a partner - like a Evgeni Plushenko.
Little exhibitionism
In the recent increase in sexually transmitted infection of our tourists returning from Egypt. <
The survey showed that all couples engaged in "extreme" love. That is, did not in hotels, and in pools, on the beach and even in coach. The source of infection were ... money. In short, wash your hands, gentlemen.
Some couples for more sensations of sex are all sorts of occupations raznneozhidannye place for copulating. Of course, if you always made love in the missionary position and switched off the light, the adrenaline from the inclusion bulbs Ilyich really freshen relieving relations.
For active couples are offices, roofs, dark staircases, balconies and metro cars. All this is really unusual, but there is a danger that alert citizens will phone where to, and have sex in the monkey - it is somehow too.
However, it is the risk of being caught and adds fun.
By the way, engage in oral pleasure in the car while driving, I would not advise: you can either themselves ubitsya or kill someone. Yes, and sex in public transport negigienichen.
Third is not superfluous?
We already wrote about swinger. Add only that one must possess sufficient m-m-m ... advancement, to allow their partner to have sex with another man, so even in front of you.
But if someone thinks that sex - is one thing, and love - other - please. Virtually every major city of Russia, there svingerskie society, which may come to attend.
Tip: If you are going swinger club - three hundred times think, does not destroy a similar experience your tandem. In the end, people nerevnivyh much less than it seems.
Pornography, yes and only
This is good enough in any market where trade in pirated video products. While there is no law on pornography, "you can easily buy an unlimited number of films for adults production of the Netherlands, Sweden, Denmark, France, Italy, USA and Russia.
In addition, porn videos available on the Internet.
In fact, making love under the view of some "Planet of the gaping mouths" - a lightweight version of svingerstva. That is, you're excited by watching how other people copulate. And your self-esteem does not suffer quite, because everything on the screen - just a movie.
BDSM and role-playing games
Actually themselves sadomasochistic relationship - one big game. No one really did not injure anyone, does not cause injury and serious injuries. For a rare exception.
Mrs. Lott, leader of sadomasochistic movement in Russia:
"During his long practice I've met only two really strange characters. One man was very fond of when it is ignited. He had not just blow the whistle somewhere wax, as is the case with role-playing games mistress / slave, but it was set on fire. Prior blisters and the smell of singed flesh. Another girl was nekrofilkoy. Something happened in her childhood. She graduated from university, it seems, Faculty, and then went to medical school. Found work at the morgue. She was excited not only dead, but completely spoiled. The more mucus - the better. We do not have it in our club. "
Gastronomic Isa
Remember the movie "9 ½ weeks"? After the removal of clip like the scene where Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke daub each other cream and other fare, it seems, has become a favorite pastime loving former Soviet country.
Well, oral pleasure with mint candy, ice cream, strawberries or ice cube really help you get unusual sensations during lovemaking. So sex becomes not only enjoyable, but tasty and nutritious. As they say - three in one. <
Sex Toys
This is good in bulk in any store for adults. There are funny "девайсы", <, and quite ordinary. Vaginal and anal vibrators, dildos (it's not battery powered), artificial vaginas, many types of lubricants, swing for lovemaking, latex masks, whips, straps for bindings, manacles, etc., etc. ... All of this can really vary bedding relations the joy of couples who are fed up with traditional sex.
Play, but not to flirt
The basic rule of any harmonious sexual relationship - do no harm. How extravagant you have not decided to experiment with lovemaking, it must be remembered that the health of you and your partner one.
In the BDSM community specifically for this coined the term "stop-word": a kind of password, in the utterance of which the process should immediately cease. What kind of slap his hand on the mat in some kind of martial arts. After all, if the game will go so far that one of you, fascinated, not notice the negative reaction partner, the experiment is nothing but irritation and frustration will not bring.
In short, if you love the man - take care of him, and then any Bedding game will be a pleasant one. And tomorrow is something to try.
In fact, making love under the view of some "Planet of the gaping mouths" - a lightweight version of svingerstva.
Kamasutra
Treatise Kamasutra, the Indian physician and philosopher Vatyasany was translated into English from Sanskrit Richard Burton. The first edition was published in 1883 in Victorian Britain. Since then, the book was reprinted countless times, and was translated into almost all languages of the world.
First, to what turned comrades who have decided to somehow return the severity of sexual relationships - many books on sex techniques. The minimum text and maximum of images clearly show how and in what positions people can do to each other pleasantly.
To treat this literature seriously, in principle, it is not necessary. Even all the famous Kamasutra, according to recent studies, translated incorrectly, contains a lot of inaccuracies and even completely wrong advice. A lot of it frightened about women's erogenous zones, and in general the female orgasm fucking paid little attention. It's like the ladies to finish not necessarily agree, is not so.
By the way, if you have sex, following this "benefit", you should be aware that flexibility and physical training partner should be like Alina Kabaeva, and a partner - like a Evgeni Plushenko.
Little exhibitionism
In the recent increase in sexually transmitted infection of our tourists returning from Egypt. <
The survey showed that all couples engaged in "extreme" love. That is, did not in hotels, and in pools, on the beach and even in coach. The source of infection were ... money. In short, wash your hands, gentlemen.
Some couples for more sensations of sex are all sorts of occupations raznneozhidannye place for copulating. Of course, if you always made love in the missionary position and switched off the light, the adrenaline from the inclusion bulbs Ilyich really freshen relieving relations.
For active couples are offices, roofs, dark staircases, balconies and metro cars. All this is really unusual, but there is a danger that alert citizens will phone where to, and have sex in the monkey - it is somehow too.
However, it is the risk of being caught and adds fun.
By the way, engage in oral pleasure in the car while driving, I would not advise: you can either themselves ubitsya or kill someone. Yes, and sex in public transport negigienichen.
Third is not superfluous?
We already wrote about swinger. Add only that one must possess sufficient m-m-m ... advancement, to allow their partner to have sex with another man, so even in front of you.
But if someone thinks that sex - is one thing, and love - other - please. Virtually every major city of Russia, there svingerskie society, which may come to attend.
Tip: If you are going swinger club - three hundred times think, does not destroy a similar experience your tandem. In the end, people nerevnivyh much less than it seems.
Pornography, yes and only
This is good enough in any market where trade in pirated video products. While there is no law on pornography, "you can easily buy an unlimited number of films for adults production of the Netherlands, Sweden, Denmark, France, Italy, USA and Russia.
In addition, porn videos available on the Internet.
In fact, making love under the view of some "Planet of the gaping mouths" - a lightweight version of svingerstva. That is, you're excited by watching how other people copulate. And your self-esteem does not suffer quite, because everything on the screen - just a movie.
BDSM and role-playing games
Actually themselves sadomasochistic relationship - one big game. No one really did not injure anyone, does not cause injury and serious injuries. For a rare exception.
Mrs. Lott, leader of sadomasochistic movement in Russia:
"During his long practice I've met only two really strange characters. One man was very fond of when it is ignited. He had not just blow the whistle somewhere wax, as is the case with role-playing games mistress / slave, but it was set on fire. Prior blisters and the smell of singed flesh. Another girl was nekrofilkoy. Something happened in her childhood. She graduated from university, it seems, Faculty, and then went to medical school. Found work at the morgue. She was excited not only dead, but completely spoiled. The more mucus - the better. We do not have it in our club. "
Gastronomic Isa
Remember the movie "9 ½ weeks"? After the removal of clip like the scene where Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke daub each other cream and other fare, it seems, has become a favorite pastime loving former Soviet country.
Well, oral pleasure with mint candy, ice cream, strawberries or ice cube really help you get unusual sensations during lovemaking. So sex becomes not only enjoyable, but tasty and nutritious. As they say - three in one. <
Sex Toys
This is good in bulk in any store for adults. There are funny "девайсы", <, and quite ordinary. Vaginal and anal vibrators, dildos (it's not battery powered), artificial vaginas, many types of lubricants, swing for lovemaking, latex masks, whips, straps for bindings, manacles, etc., etc. ... All of this can really vary bedding relations the joy of couples who are fed up with traditional sex.
Play, but not to flirt
The basic rule of any harmonious sexual relationship - do no harm. How extravagant you have not decided to experiment with lovemaking, it must be remembered that the health of you and your partner one.
In the BDSM community specifically for this coined the term "stop-word": a kind of password, in the utterance of which the process should immediately cease. What kind of slap his hand on the mat in some kind of martial arts. After all, if the game will go so far that one of you, fascinated, not notice the negative reaction partner, the experiment is nothing but irritation and frustration will not bring.
In short, if you love the man - take care of him, and then any Bedding game will be a pleasant one. And tomorrow is something to try.
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